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my doubts fade away

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 @ 4:32 PM


just wanted to blog today because i feel kinda.... like.... i have no idea how to put my thoughts into words.. its been a thoughtful night..

i received a note today,

i think its really God's divine purpose to me to get it.. its like.. van and i were gg back to her house after renting vcd and we walked past this old auntie that was sitting in her wheelchair selling such charity coupon thingy.. i kinda ignored her but van want to make a donation and helped her.. i wanted to share the coupon with her, but standing beside, i feel like.. "hey its CNY, why not i do something man.." so i bought one myself too.. it just so happens that we need to fill this our particulars when we buy that coupon, van wrote hers on the first one while i she helped me write on the second.. she tore both coupon out.. i was thinking i can just randomly choose one and keep but she is very particular girl, so wanted the serial number that belongs to her name.. so we changed it.. i took it and read what is printed.. this ticket its not just any 0rdinary charity coupon.. it has inspiring phrase someone said printed on it.. mine printed,

"not all closed doors are locked"

the moment i read that... it just etched in my mind.. even till now... it somehow connects to all the prayers i've been making to God.. the impossible that i've been telling God.. all the "God, i dont think so... things dont look like that.." when he tell me something.. i will be just... "er.. i dont think so.. er... theres no open doors" when i saw the note that was passed to me, it feels like heaven has sent a decree.. i can still remember the old lady's eyes when i smiled at her after i bought the ticket and read it..

God, is this what u wanna tell me?? is this what u want me to know??

even through this event, i can see how God plan it.. its like he "cornered" me.. i could have so easily missed my ticket.. if i van didnt say she wants to buy.. if i didnt turn up at bishan to go over to van's house.. if van is not a particular person wants only the ticket that has the serial number to her name..(every note has a different phrase).. if my heart wasnt moved to get a ticket.. its like... just by a little bit of anything, i could have missed his word! but God wouldnt permit! even when i held on to van's ticket, he immediately used his plan B.. get van to trade with me!

wow! wow! wow!

when God wants to speak, he make sure u get it..

but why would we sometimes not hear him at all??

the problem definately dont fall on God.. every word of His is precious.. he wouldnt speak for fun and laughter.. he wants you to get it.. but sometimes, our ears are too deaf with the noise of the world.. the noise of situations, the noise of problems, the noise of our self centeredness, the noise of responsibilies, the noise of laziness.. so many noises we can be distracted of so easily..

thats why quiet time and named quiet time.. it literally means QUIET time!! in another words, SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP AND LET GOD SPEAK time!

remember, "not all closed doors are locked"

sometimes, you just need a little pushing on that door to get it open.. but some requires the turning of the door knob.. some rooms require you to knock.. some rooms will require you to bang.. while some, its automatic when sensor..

what type of door does that miracle room you want to get it has??

different type of doors requires different actions and different level of energy and tenacity..

sidenote: i have a sudden love for the word "tenacity" spiritual tenacity.. :))

God, i want more!

PS.. i cant wait for valentine :)